Befinner mig just nu på soffan med laptopen i mitt knä. TV:n är på för lite bakgrundsljud och sällskap (forever alone), och för gamla tiders skull kollar jag på Bolibompa (trots att Glee visas på tv11). Men Bolibompa är inte vad det brukade vara. Jag sitter mest och stör mig på allt istället. Typ ”på min tid hade vi minsann riktig tecknad, och inte någon fjuttig animerad skit. Hmpf”.

”På min tid fick vi nöja oss med Pipen, Johan, ett skrivbord och några teckningar uppsatta på väggen”

Nä nu orkar jag inte se på den där skiten mer...

The Hipster Rating Scale

Want to know where you stand in everybody’s favourite contemporary subculture? Simply take the quiz below to find out! If you answer positively to the following questions, add up your points and you’ll soon find out how hipster you really are.

Questions
Do you wear glasses with thick black rims? (5 points)
Do you need them? (10 points for No)
Is your hair longer on one side than the other? (10 points)
Do you own a Mac? (10 points)
Was your profile picture on Facebook taken with Photo Booth? (15 points)
Do you enjoy Wes Anderson movies? (5 points)
Does your bedroom look like the sets on Wes Anderson movies? (10 points)
Do you smoke cigarettes? (5 points)
Do you only smoke cigarettes when there’s someone around to see you smoking them? (10 points)
Do you have tattoos of an anchor, key, pin-up model or swirly writing? (5 points)
Do you have a chest tattoo? (10 points)
Did your friends do any of your tattoos for you at a party? (15 points)
Are any of your tattoos quotes from Charles Bukowski, Kurt Vonnegut, or Jack Kerouac novels? (20 points)
Do you use Instagram, Tumblr, Google Plus, or Lookbook? (Add 5 points for each website used)

Scaled Questions
Add 1 point for every band you listen to that has a woodland creature in their title. (Up to 5 points)
Add 1 point for every clothing item you own sold by American Apparel or Urban Outfitters. (Up to 5 points)
Add 1 point for every photo on your Facebook that was taken by a professional photographer at a bar. (Up to 10 points)
Add 1 point for every time you remember someone saying “Who are they?” when you spoke about a band you like. (Up to 10 points)
Add 1 point for every cup of tea you’ve consumed in the past week. (Up to 10 points)
Add 1 point for every time you’ve visited a café in the past month. (Up to 10 points)

Male
Do you have facial hair? (5 points)
Do you have a moustache? (10 points)
Do you wear V-neck shirts? (5 points)
Is chest hair visible out of the top of these shirts? (10 points)
Do you like to think of yourself as a poor man’s Hank Moody? (10 points)
On a scale of 1-10, how tight are your jeans? (Add your chosen number)
Add 1 point for each ironic t-shirt you own. (Up to 10 points)
Did you spend a lot of time carefully making your hair messy today? (20 points)

Female
Do you wear oversized sweaters? (5 points)
Do you still wear them even if it’s hot outside? (10 points)
Do you wear leggings/tights as pants? (5 points)
Do you ride a bicycle with a basket on the front? (10 points)
Do you try to avoid looking directly at the camera lens when someone is taking a photo of you? (10 points)
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you look like Zooey Deschanel? (Add your chosen number)
Add 1 point for each skirt/dress that you own with a floral print. (Up to 10 points)
Did you wear anything from a thrift store today? (20 points)

Final Question
Were you at all offended by this highly satirical, overgeneralised quiz? (20 points)

Results
1 - 100 - Not that much of a hipster. You’ve barely got any hipster characteristics. While some hipsters may look down on you for being too mainstream, at least you look like you have somewhere to live.

100 - 200 - Pretty hipster. You might be a denim jacket away from full hipsterdom, but you’re still capable of successfully defending yourself when called a hipster in a derogatory fashion.

200 - 300 - Full hipster. You’re so hipster your handwriting is in Helvetica. I’d talk more about you, but you’re so underground that I probably haven’t heard of you anyway.